here's a little bit of my new story!
“Hello!” The man behind the counter seemed
friendly so far. Josiah had been waling down the street two minutes ago,
heading back to his apartment after a day of work. Then he had seen a sign
above the local police station that said “Sign Up Now!” with big flashy
letters. Josiah was bored, which was why he had stopped.
“What
is your name?” the man asked, “And what is your occupation?”
“Josiah
Greenwich, woodworker.”
“Any
hobbies?” the man was writing this all down. Odd.
“Not
really, unless you count racing as a hobby.”
The
man looked up, suddenly interested. “Racing you say? What kind exactly?”
“I
drive a stock car down at the raceway most weekends,” Josiah replied.
“Are
you any good?”
“They
keep inviting me back,” Josiah tried to see what the man was writing down,
unsuccessfully.
“Perfect!”
he exclaimed, placing the paper into a slot. “If you come back tomorrow, same
time, there’ll be a person here to talk to you.”
“What
exactly did I sign up for?” Josiah asked as the man stood.
“You’ll
find out tomorrow!” The man exclaimed cheerily. With that, he went through a
door at the back of the police station, leaving Josiah there alone. Josiah
shrugged and turned to leave, wondering why he had come in in the first place.
Sounds very interesting. I have one critique; your dialogue tags seem to be a little messed up.
ReplyDeleteFor instance.
“Any hobbies?” the man was writing this all down. Odd.
If it's an action tag instead of a dialogue tag, like the example above, the first word is capitalised. So it should be:
“Any hobbies?” The man was writing this all down. Odd.
And if it's a dialogue tag:
“You’ll find out tomorrow!” The man exclaimed cheerily.
The first word should not be capitalised. So this should be:
“You’ll find out tomorrow!” the man exclaimed cheerily.
Another thing about the same subject:
“They keep inviting me back,” Josiah tried to see what the man was writing down, unsuccessfully.
At the end of the dialogue itself, do you use periods or commas? For dialogue tags, you use commas; for action tags, you use periods.
Well, anyway, this looks very interesting, and I hope to read more soon!
OK, thanks. :) I haven't really thought about the different dialogue tags before. Thanks for the advice!
ReplyDeleteCool Phenomenon! It sounds interesting. :)
ReplyDelete